A beautiful nightmare
by FOPF
Summary: Ruth returns to London for a long weekend. R/H fic based on ep. 6.9
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: all the characters ****in this fic are property of Kudos and BBC**

**Big thanks to Lynn for being my beta**

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__She watched in horror as the bullet penetrated his body. He fell backwards against the door of a car and she __stared in disbelieve as his body hit the pavement. He was lying motionless on the ground in the middle of a square in London and for a moment she was sure that it was all just a nightmare, but the sound of another gunshot made her realize that this was all really happening._

A few months ago Ruth had decided to go back to London for a long weekend. She knew there was a risk that she would be recognized by someone and she wasn't even sure why she wanted to go or what she was expecting from her visit. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was hoping that she would bump into Harry, but rationally she knew that it would never happen. And even if she ever saw him again it would never be like in her dreams, because nothing could change the fact that 'Ruth Evershed' was officially dead.

She knew she had to let go of the thought of him. Maybe that's why she had come here, to try and let go of the past and finally start to look at the future and accept her new life.

It was her last day in London. This evening she would go back to France again, pretending to be someone she was not, just like she had done for the last 14 months. The time she had spent in London hadn't done her any good. If anything, it had only made her feel worse and even lonelier than before.

She had checked out of her hotel room in the early hours of the morning. Now she was just wandering around the city without any plan or any idea of her own location. She still had a few hours before she needed to go to St. Pancras to check-in for her train back to France.

Ruth turned round another corner of an unknown street and instantly noticed a familiar figure standing by a black cab. Her breath caught in her throat. She could only see his back and he was a few hundred yards away from where she was standing, but she was absolutely sure it was him. She would recognize him from any distance.

When she had recovered from the initial shock of seeing him again, she wondered what to do next. It was too risky to simply walk towards him in the middle of a crowded square in London, but she desperately wanted to hear his voice and tell him how much she had missed him.

The mixed feeling of happiness and confusion about seeing him after all those lonely months was suddenly replaced by a feeling of panic. She could hear a familiar voice shouting something about a bomb and she watched as panic spread across the square, people screaming and running. Ruth was frozen to the spot, unsure what to do. For a moment she had lost sight of him; she was afraid that he had vanished in the panicking crowd but suddenly he reappeared again from behind the black cab. She wondered what he was doing there and why he wasn't looking for cover. A very uncomfortable feeling suddenly took hold of her and made her feel sick.

Now that the shouting and panicking crowd had disappeared, an uncomfortable silence filled her ears. The sudden sound of a shot being fired made her jump and she swore that she could hear the bullet floating trough the air before it hit the target.

She felt nauseous as she watched everything happening in front of her and for a moment she thought that she would collapse. The sight of Adam moving from behind the same car and dragging the body out of her line of vision filled her with horror.

_Why had Adam just watched everything and done nothing!?!?_Her mind was filled with questions._ Why was he dragging a wounded or maybe even dying Harry behind a car? Why was this happening? Why did she have to witness this nightmare?_

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**I've already written the next two chapters, so they'll be up soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: all the characters in this fic are property of Kudos and BBC**

**Thanks Lynn!**

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When he left the cover of the car his mind went back to a cold September morning when he had been standing somewhere in London alongside the Thames. In his mind he could hear her voice again "_Don't get shot_" and he had answered her "_I won't_".

Fourteen months ago he had made that promise to the woman he loved and now he was standing here waiting to be shot. He wasn't afraid of the bullet but he was terrified at the thought that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to her. Not only the promise not to get shot but also the one he had made a few days before that. _"I will sort this out Ruth. I promise you I will sort this out"_

From the minute she had left on that barge, he had been determined to keep his promise and to prove her innocence. Every free second of his spare time had been spent gathering new evidence and discrediting the fabricated story. It had taken him a lot longer than expected and the Iran crisis had slowed things down considerably, but two months ago he had finally managed to get everything he needed.

The only problem that had followed was the problem of finding her. He knew that Malcolm had arranged everything and she had been taken to France but after that the trail went dead. Malcolm's contact in France, who had arranged everything there and was the only one who knew her new identity, had died five months ago. There had been no other trail of her and in the end Harry had taken Connie into his confidence. He had asked her to track down Ruth but until now she hadn't had any more success than he had; he was beginning to loose hope that he would ever see her again.

The thought of having the evidence he needed to give her back her old life but not being able to tell her, had made him feel a little more desperate every day. Now he was standing in this square waiting to get shot, knowing that there was a good chance he wouldn't survive the day. In that case, he would never be able to find her and to tell her those three words he had wanted to say to her on many occasions.

He looked at the surrounding buildings, trying to locate the position of his enemy but there was no sign of him. The only thing he noticed was the sound of a shot while he waited for the bullet to hit him.

The force of the impact from the bullet made him fall backwards against the car. For a second, he thought that he saw a familiar figure standing near a corner on the other side of the square, but the pain in his chest forced him to close his eyes. When he opened his eyes again he was staring at the clouds floating across the sky and his mind filled with only one question: _Was it really her or had it been his imagination?_

He felt Adam getting hold of him and dragging him back to the relative safety behind the black cab. He was having trouble breathing. Not only because of the pain in his chest but mainly because of the thought that she might be a few hundred yards away from him.

The sounds of Adam opening the car door followed by a rain of bullets and breaking glass brought his mind back to the current situation. He was still in danger, just like the rest of his team.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: all the characters in this fic are property of Kudos and BBC**

**This is probably the last chapter.**

**Thanks Lynn!**

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Harry watched the time ticking away, five seconds and it would be 6 p.m. 

He was surprised when there was no explosion. Somehow Adam had managed to disable the bomb in time. They were out of danger. He looked around to make sure everyone was OK and noticed the scared look on Malcolm's face. Harry gave him a small smile and mumbled something that sounded like '_It's ok, it's all over' _

He tried to stand up but the pain in his chest immediately forced him back on the ground. After a few seconds he tried again; the voice in his head telling him that Ruth might be so close gave him gave him strength as he forced himself to his feet.

He looked at the spot where he thought he had seen her but it was empty. Just when he was about to turn back to make sure Adam and Connie where OK, he noticed a small figure sitting on the ground. She was clearly crying and he realised that she must have recognized him and that she had witnessed everything without knowing that he was wearing a bullet-proof vest.

He slowly walked towards her and stood beside her for a moment, unsure what to say. She obviously hadn't noticed him and was still sitting on the pavement, tears running down her face.

"Ruth." He spoke her name softly.

It took a few seconds before she vaguely registered a sound and when she looked up she wondered if she was seeing a ghost.

"But…how…I… y-you just got shot"

"I'm fine Ruth. I was wearing a bullet-proof vest. "

"So you're not dead?" She knew it was a ridiculous question, but everything that had happened in the last ten minutes had been too much. Her mind had stopped working and she needed confirmation that this wasn't a dream, that he really was standing in front of her.

He smiled at her. "No Ruth I'm not dead, I'm right here with you. I'm so sorry you had to witness all this. I…" He had no idea what to say to her as he imagined how horrible it must have been for her.

Harry watched the tears starting to roll down her face again. He couldn't stop himself any longer. Sitting down beside her, he put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close to him, whispering comforting words in her ear.

"I take it that this is Ms. Evershed?" The voice of Connie brought them back to reality. They had both lost track of time, only being aware of each others presence.

Connie went on before either of them had a chance to answer her question. "I just thought I'd let you know that Jo and Ben have captured Davie and the other man. I take it this means the end of the Sunstrike protocol and, by the looks of it, my special skills to find Ruth Evershed are no longer required. So do you mind if I go home and have a nice long shower?"

For a moment he was unsure if he should introduce Ruth to Connie, but he decided it could wait till later. "Yes of course. Thank you Connie." He gave her a smile and then turned all his attention back to the woman sitting beside him.

"Have a nice time together." Smiling, Connie walked away, leaving Harry and Ruth alone.

"Find me? Why would that woman want to find me? "

"Because I asked her to find you, Ruth."

She looked at him. "W-why?"

"Because I wanted to see you again. I wanted to be able to tell you that you can have your old life back if you want it."

"I...but…"

"I made you a promise, Ruth and I'm a man that likes to keep his word. It took me a lot longer than I expected but I have cleared your name. You can be Ruth Evershed again."

"You've sorted everything out?"

He nodded.

Unable to speak, she just stared at the ground trying to understand what he had just said to her.

Her silence made Harry unsure. _What if she didn't want to come back? Maybe she was happy with her new life. _"Only if you want to, you don't have to come back if you don't want to. I mean, it took me so long to get all the evidence I needed and after that I wasn't able to find you."

Ruth still didn't react so he rambled on. "So if you're already used to your new life then… I… I'm so sorry Ruth. I just thought that…" He trailed off unsure what to say to her.

She wanted to reassure him. To tell him how horrible the last fourteen months had been. To make him understand that there was nothing in the world she wanted more than getting her old life back. But she still wasn't capable of speaking. The roller coaster of emotions from the last half hour had cost her too much. Deciding that she needed to let him know how she felt, she did the only thing she could. Flinging her arms around him she gave him a warm hug.

Harry's first reaction was relief, but the feeling was soon replaced by pain she squashed his tender ribs, and he couldn't help the groan that escaped his throat.

She looked up at him. "Are you OK?"

"Yes Ruth I'm fine. I think that I've got a couple of bruised ribs but don't worry about it. I have had considerably worse." He looked at her and added with a cheeky smile "Still, I could use someone to look after me"

"T-that… eh… that's good, because I already checked-out of my hotel, so I…eh… I need a place to stay for the night. " Glowing scarlet at her own words she added softly "I mean it's only to make sure you're OK"

Harry smiled broadly at her. Whispering something in her ear he took her hand and led the way to his car.

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